My personal testimony can be linked all the way back to when my mother was pregnant with me. My mother had several abortions but I myself was not aborted by the grace of God. Although I was not aborted, story has it that my mothers alcohol problem continued through her pregnancy with me. Not only was I in danger of Fetal Alcohol Syndrome, I was also at risk of miscarriage due to physical abuse that my father inflicted on my mother during that time. Thank God I survived without any complications & am able to share my testimony today.
Growing up I faced new challenges. When I was a child I witnessed my mother being beaten by drug dealers & my father being drug out of my home by police. I was passed back and forth between parents, custody battles were ongoing & cps visits & foster homes became normal. When I was home, I was usually being dropped off with a friend or family member for long periods of time. I remember looking out the window crying & waiting for them to come home.
When I was two years old my dad married a women named Christina, things didn’t work out between them but I believe God placed her in my life for a reason. She attempted to stay in my life but when she was forced out she continued praying for me. I believe she is part of the reason I was lead back to Christ, & I believe this was her purpose in my life. I am happy to say that we have rekindled our relationship since.
Christina and my father eventually divorced & he remarried a wicked woman who was abusive & full of hate. When I turned sixteen I ran off to Vegas and married a man I knew for two days so that I could be emancipated & leave home. I begged my dad to leave her but he stayed for the kids. I believe without a doubt that my father eventually died by her hand at the age of forty-two.
My teenage years were a total mess. I was involved in drugs, hate crimes, & run ins with the law. I dated men who sold drugs, went to prison and were gang affiliated. I fought all the time & took pride in the reputation I had created for myself. I was wild, dangerous, mean, & I was able to catch mens attention with ease.
When I turned eighteen I met my husband. He wasn’t like the rest of the guys I had dated but somehow he caught my attention. Our relationship suffered a lot of ups and downs due to the fact that we were completely opposite but I believe he was the second person that God intentionally placed in my life. Today we have five beautiful children and have somehow managed to stay together.
Robbie and I have literally endured every challenge that could be used to tear a marriage apart. He was mentally abusive, I was physically abusive, we have been homeless, financially unstable & ready to walk away from each other. The stepping stone of my conversion to Christ came after the biggest struggle of our relationship which was Adultery.
There came a point in our relationship where we didn’t do anything but fight. I wanted to leave but I was scared because we had five children and I only had a part time job. That’s when price charming rode in told me everything I wanted to hear & made me feel things I never felt before. Little did I know prince charming was the devil in disguise and would lead me into the bondage of ungodly soul ties.
The affair I was having lasted for more than a year, & eventually lead to an attempted suicide. I had told my husband things were over and I wanted to be with this new man. That same night this guy left me for two girls in a bar and went home with them instead. The next morning my husband picked me up to talk about divorce & custody papers and I quietly walked away and attempted to hang myself in the other room. Everything was going black, my husband had just dialed 911 and was attempting to hold me up while my kids cried in the background. The police and paramedics arrived and then took me to the hospital and placed me on a 5150 hold for evaluation.
While I was in the hospital my husband prayed for our marriage when I wouldn’t. He received a prophetic word in church during that time saying that the Lord is saying he sees a broken home that looks unfix able but to continue praying and seeking God first and that our marriage would be restored. I had no intentions of going home, I was still bound to this other man even though I didn’t understand why. I hated everything about him but I continued running back to him. When I got out of the hospital I ended up back home, even though its the last place I seen myself.
My husband and I started attending church and praying together and decided to give things one more shot. During this time there were still a lot of ups and downs & I didn’t have enough strength against the temptation or soul tie I created with this man. It caused many fights, a lot of heartache but also taught me a few important lessons. The first thing I learned was the dangers of adultery and the intense pain that came with the soul tie. The next thing I learned was the importance of prayer, faith, & Gods mercy. With these lessons I have been able to overcome temptation although it still knocks at my door daily. I am no longer a slave to my sin because Christ has set me free and given me strength to overcome. He has single handedly put the broken pieces of my marriage back together.
It would seem that God has been working in my life and teaching me lessons left and right but there is still more that I need to share. I learned how dangerous walking out of Gods word really was. Growing up I knew of Jesus but I didn’t know him personally. I heard people say things like I am a “non practicing Christian” & I figured that’s what I was. I believed in God the father, the son & the holy spirit but I did not live like a Christian should. (up until my conversion) I lived like the rest of the world but I believed I was saved and just had the best of both worlds.
Reality hit on a trip to San Francisco when I visited a tarot card reader. I have always had a pull twords the dark side. Maybe its because my families involvement with black magic or my ability to absorb & feel other peoples mental states. Either way I was fascinated and even though I knew better I visited her anyways, not knowing how dangerous it really was.
The tarot card reader was extremely interested in speaking with me, so much so that she even offered to wave the fees. She said I had abilities & talked about other paranormal experiences that I have had and explained why. She later tried involving me in candle drippings, crystals & other occult activities to resolve the demonic issues I was facing. I almost gave into witchcraft but I believe it was the Holy spirit who drew me back to him and reminded me that I need him, not her.
Shortly after I began manifesting demonic spirits. I felt as if I wasn’t looking through my own eyes anymore and that something else was taking over me. Desperate I contacted a pastor to try and deliver me from this demonic spirit but I only mocked him and laughed in his face. I had other manifestations where I would laugh demonically, pace the room or go into a total trance. I even posted to facebook about a demonic spirit in Hebrew with no recollection. Shortly after God led me to Arkansas to a church that my friend attended. She and I were identical, we were both photographers, we had the same exact personalities, our childhoods were in sync & I believe God joined us together before either of even knew why. We both ended up manifesting at the same time, states away and because of it we both found the church in Arkansas that helped set us both free.
I was delivered from the spirit of depression, suicide & from ungodly soul ties and witchcraft. Each time I was delivered from a spirit I blacked out and hit the floor as the spirit left me. When I stood up after being delivered from witchcraft it was as if I was looking through my own eyes for the first time. Because of these experiences I have learned a lot about bondage that I was in, how I was lead into bondage and most importantly it lead me back to Christ. I am now saved, filled with the holy spirit, speaking in tongues, seeking Gods will for my life, trying to help others find Christ & standing strong against temptation. I am saved by grace, through his works, not my own.
My whole life I have struggled with depression, rejection, abandonment issues and demonic attacks, but if God is for me who can stand against me? I have overcome by the power of his blood. God has been fighting for me since birth and he has placed people in my life to lead me back to him. He gave me a husband who loves me unconditionally, a step mother who never stopped praying and a friend who has been converted & is walking in Christ with me. He sees all of my flaws and he still wants me anyways. Most of my problems were caused by my own hands, God is not a God of condemnation but a God of love. The bible was written for our protection & for our salvation, not to control or condemn us. God sent his only son to pay for my sins because he knew I would get my hands dirty, but he wanted to save me anyways. Thank You Lord for never letting me go, or giving up on me.
- Christ has delivered prophetic messages to me, through others, saying he knows the issues Ive had growing up & he will never abandon me because he is my father.
- My husband & I have been delivered prophetic messages through others about holding onto our marriage when things were falling apart. (even though nobody else knew)
- I have had dreams of God showing me that he is there even when I don’t see him or hear him.
- I have been set free from other demonic spirits & strongholds through praying in spirit.
- god has spoken to me through his word to let me know that I was set free.
- I dreamed that I was standing beside Christ about to be crucified, and he asked me if I would die for him, that it would only hurt for a moment, but I had to die to myself. I was then crucified with him by my side. (this was at the time of conversion)
- God will speak to me through his word, through music and people to answer my prayers, put me at ease or show me that he is there. He always finds a way to reach me and comfort me.