I would like to share just a bit of information on how a marriage was intended to be and should be. Marriage is the most rewarding, yet difficult, sign of intimacy in our life second to our relationship with God. I believe if we focus not on ourselves but on our spouse, and if they did the same there would be less fighting & arguments. If both spouses are putting God first and each other second then everything will work as intended.
1 Peter 3:1–8 3 Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, 2 when they see your respectful and pure conduct. 3 Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— 4 but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious. 5 For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands, 6 as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. And you are her children, if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening. 7 Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you1 of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered. Suffering for Righteousness’ Sake 8 Finally, all of you, have unity of mind, sympathy, brotherly love, a tender heart, and a humble mind.
Colossians 3:18–19 Wives, submit to your husbands, as vis fitting in the Lord. 19 Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them.
Titus 2:3–5 3 Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, 4 and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, 5 to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled.
Philippians 2:3–13 3 Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. 4 Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. 5 Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus,1 6 who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped,2 7 but emptied himself, by taking the form of a tservant,3 being born in the likeness of men. 8 And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross. 9 Therefore God has highly exalted him and bestowed on him the name that is above every name, 10 so that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, 11 and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.
Lights in the World 12 Therefore, my beloved, as you have always obeyed, so now, not only as in my presence but much more in my absence, work out your own salvation with fear and trembling, 13 for hit is God who works in you, both to will and to work for his good pleasure.
Ephesians 5:21–33 22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, bas to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit fin everything to their husbands.
25 Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, 26 that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27 so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish.1 28 In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, 30 because we are members of his body. 31 “ Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” 32 This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. 33 However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.
1 Corinthians 7:2-5 But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband. The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband. For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.
In a Christian marriage there are a few things to do and not to do. We all know having a drink is relaxing, I myself do not drink anymore. We should stay away from getting drunk as we are to be sober minded. Having private conversation whether it is verbal or text with the opposite sex I believe to be ” shady.” This one is rough at times, we should stray from blaming and arguing and rather communicate on a civil level. There’s more, but this is all that is coming to mind right now. So, lastly do not let others slander or bad mouth your spouse, you are now one flesh and should defend your spouse as you would defend yourself. This also goes for mothers and fathers of each spouse, we are to flee nest once married.
Here’s a few things to that include but are not limited to being filled with the spirit, encourage each other, sing hymns and songs of praise, have an attitude of continual worship, live in a spirit of gratitude, and submit graciously to each other. Communicating when a problem comes up is huge, it’s much better to address the issue calmly and say how you feel in a kind way in order for the opposing spouse to get a feel of sympathy or even empathy. When we keep things bottled in and keep compressing it, it’s going to eventually explode and not be a pleasant site.
I hope this helps, even if it’s just one person. Remember that God can and will restore your marriage. Have faith and put those hands together and pray.